Elements of Craft Say it Once, Say it Right Let's face it. We're writers because we love words. We love the way they sound and we love the way they roll off our tongues. We love to string them together and give meaning to our existence through them. Words are our babies. And one of the toughest things we must do as professional writers is to weed through these babies we've created and eliminate those that don't pull their own weight. Yes, we are talking infanticide here. Killing our babies. Redundancy is one of the carnal sins of writers. We don't trust our words to do their job. We don't trust our reader to catch our meaning the first time. So we repeat ourselves. Unfortunately, any word that doesn't add to a story, detracts. Now, before you disconnect me, let me offer an alternative. For large groups of words that I just don't have the heart to kill, I keep a file on my hard drive titled "Babies." Whenever I write (what I consider) beautiful prose that just doesn't fit my story, I cut it from my manuscript and move it to my "Babies" file. That way, I don't feel like a murderer. But for those little redundancies, the little repetitions (like in this sentence), the best alternative is death. Let's take a look at an example: Shelly sat cross-legged on the over-sized sofa. Her life was about to change. She peeked inside the envelope. The letter in the envelope was neatly folded. She took the letter out of the envelope and opened it. She was afraid of what it would say. She was scared that Larry was giving her the brush-off. Her trembling hands held the paper open. With great trepidation, she read the words that would change her life forever. She would never be the same again. Okay, redundancy irritates us. Did the writer think we were so bored we had nothing better to do than read the same thought over again? Or did the writer just think we were too stupid to catch on to what was happening? My guess is that the writer was trying to slow down the pacing and became lazy. Regardless of the reason, we, as writers, don't want to irritate our readers. Therefore, we need to use care in choosing words that best say what we need to say, and then say those words once. We gotta trust our words to do their job and we gotta trust our reader to do his. So, let's revisit Shelly's letter and see what we can do with it: Shelly sat cross-legged on the over-sized sofa and peeked inside the envelope. She removed the neatly folded letter and opened it. Her hands trembled as she read the words that would change her life forever. Well -- it's better, but we can see the need to slow the pacing. To do that, we can add one of the following to the paragraph: "She wiped her palms on the shirt Larry had given her." Something to give the depth of her feelings: "She wouldn't be able to bear life without Larry." The use of other senses: "The letter smelled of Old Spice. Shelly took a deep whiff and imagined Larry sitting next to her, holding her hand, rubbing her knuckles, bringing her fingers to his lips for a soft kiss." See the Tip Sheet devoted to Pacing later in this series for more ideas on controlling the pacing. Redundancy can also come in the form of a single word or phrase. For example, "free gift" or "sum total." Entire websites are devoted to naming and eliminating these little nuisances. Some writers repeat ideas in a list, such as, "She was tired, worn out, and exhausted." Okay. Wouldn't just saying she was exhausted serve the purpose? Better, say it more creatively and actively, like, "Exhaustion hung to her like possums to their mama." (just kidding!) Be aware of repetition in your writing. Crisp prose has no room for it. Want more great tips and techniques? Our Inspiration for Writers Tips and Techniques Workbook is now available for immediate download. Expanded tips, more topics, reproducible worksheets, exercises to practice what you learn and much more--check it out!   Why have we chosen the yellow rose as the symbol for Inspiration for Writers? The yellow rose symbolizes joy, friendship, and the promise of a new beginning. Some sources cite the meaning of the yellow rose as "I Care." We believe that writing should bring joy. We believe the editing relationship must be friendly and should develop into a partnership and a friendship. We believe that through editing, your work takes on the promise of a new beginning-perhaps even a new career. And we take more than just pride in our work. We care that our editing makes your work the best it possibly can be. Check out what we can do for you. (c) copyright 2001 by Sandy Tritt. All rights reserved, except for those listed here. 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